I Know

I know what it feels like.

I know what it feels like to be doubted, to be cast aside, to be abandoned for no other reason than my right and will to breathe. I know what it feels like to have my name bring a smile when spoken. And I know what it feels like to be called names no soul should have to endure. I know what it feels like to have bruised eyes at the hand of a lover. And I know what it feels like to have a bruised heart at the hand of me.

I know what it feels like to lose the will to live. And I know what it feels like to bring a life into this world. I know what it feels like to carry shame and scars. And I know what it feels like to scream the truth for the first time. I know what it feels like to be sick in the body from the pain of resisting change. And I know what it feels like to make a promise to get strong.

I know what it feels like to be loved for my flesh. And I know what it feels like to be loved for my soul. I know what it feels like to pray in grief. And what it feels like to pray in gratitude. I know what it feels like to touch my own rage, my own tears, my own pain and despair. I know what it feels like to shake, but stare to the horizon willing the sun to rise so that the darkness may lessen.

I know what it feels like to build hope from the ground up. And what it feels like to claw my way from a nightmare to a dream. I know what it feels like to have a death spiritually, emotionally and soulfully. And I know what it feels like to live spiritually, emotionally and soulfully.

May we remember and hold sacred this place of knowing. This place of feeling. Judgment will never bring closeness. Criticism will never bring understanding. But feeling will always bring freedom. May we lead by feeling and touch with a gentleness we can only give by saying, “Yes Love, I know what that feels like.”

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Virtually. At least for now? I'm open.